Changes back after the 1st read through
p. 10 As Originally Written:
CHILDREN'S VOICES: Put on a tape! We want to watch a tape! Pleeeasse?!
p. 17 As Originally Written:
CHILDREN'S VOICES: Fix it! Fix the tape!
and
GABE: The plus and the minus! Press them both at the same time!
p. 32 As Originally Written:
TOM: I wasn't gonna just drop in on you like this; I was gonna call you on the way over but I forgot to recharge the phone.
p. 33 As Originally Written:
TOM: I said that I was sorry about that; my car phone was dead.
p.
10 Currently: CHILDREN'S
VOICES: Put on a tape! We want to watch a tape! Pleeeasse?!
Change
to: CHILDREN'S VOICES: Put on a movie! We want to watch a movie! Pleeeasse?!
p.12
Currently: GABE: You
should see: I wish I had some film.
KAREN: That's right: We ran out of film.
GABE: All four kids, all in a row, like this, like four little Raphael
cherubs...
Change
to: GABE: You should see: All four kids, all in a row, like this, like four
little Raphael cherubs...
p.
17 Currently:
CHILDREN'S VOICES: Fix it! Fix the tape!
and
GABE: The plus and the minus! Press them both at the same time!
Change
to:
CHILDREN'S
VOICES: Fix it! Fix it!
and
GABE:
Take out the disc and wipe it off!
p.
21 Currently:
BETH: They're fine. You know. As always. They went on and on about Italy.
Thank God their slides weren't back yet.
Change
to: BETH: They're fine. You know. As always. They went on and on about Italy.
[In
the olden days, "slides" got a laugh. I can't really think of a
modern equivalent, so I think it should be cut.]
p.
32 Currently:
TOM: I wasn't gonna just drop in on you like this; I was gonna call you
on the way over but I forgot to recharge the phone.
Change
to: TOM: I wasn't gonna just drop in on you like this; I was gonna call you on
the way over but I forgot to recharge
my
phone.
p.
33 Currently: TOM: I said that
I was sorry about that; my car phone was dead.
Change
to: TOM: I said that I was sorry about that; my phone was dead.
p.
40 Currently: GABE: Did you
get a load of the relaxation tapes she listens to?
Change
to: GABE: Ah, yes, communing with the skunk population, teaching them ta'chi or
something. Did you get a load of the music she
listens to? All that shimmery, tinkly new-age shit?
No comments:
Post a Comment